bactrack... so to speak.... from 360

life's surprises?

hmmm... there are times when life just hit you and all you can do really is to let it be. you thought you had things pegged but in reality, you never had it figured out. as much as you want to control things in your life... as much as you want to predict whats gonna happen, life skirts around your desires and gives you surprises... it may not be what you want... but think of it this way, it just might be what you need.

**********

wow. was that from me? im kinda feeling profound... better that than be depressed, right?

**********

my ate texted me yesterday. she told me that she's got a business going, and knowing her, (and also knowing myself), i texted her back reminding her to manage her business carefully or she might just end up with more credits than assets. she then texted me back saying that im such a "negative" person. am i? dont think so. but i got thinking, if my sister thinks that im a "negative" person, then maybe i am. i may not be all out negative but perhaps there's a tinge of pessimism. i dont want to admit it nor do i want to think that im a pessimist. im not discounting my sister's observation about me... that's her opinion. as for me... i am a happy person, or i try to e happy all the time. this is getting confusing. hehehe. basta. masaya ako. tapos. hehe. tigas ulo e noh?

***********

talked with metoi about a common friend. o well.... conclusion is, love makes a fool out of normally logical people. is that suppose to happen? i mean, here i thought love should fortify and improve... not degrade, but who am i to say? calling love doctor! ring , ring!

***********

hay. surprise, surprise! ot na naman... heheh... its not actually surprising. im always going on ot. not that i like it... its just, again, something life slaps on your face. geez! **********

ciao!

Saturday, Jun 25, 2005 - 11:35pm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

being.....

sometimes, as much as you love somebody, you get to a point that you really like to clobber that person senseless. it started a few days ago when my sister got sick. ok, so good ate that i was, i kinda let her "walk" all over me. why not? shes sick, which means she (or i allowed her to) can practically request everything from me, down to getting a glass of water for her when the kitchen is a mere 5 steps away.it was fine with me during the first2 days. but the third and the fourth, thats stretching it. she doesnt want to move, she just stays inside our room and complains that shes sick and basically asks me to do everything. hay. i told her that she should move... like excercise her muscles or something so she wont feel so lousy. but she just looks at me with her "im so kawawa" look and then she closes her eyes and acts really sick. i mean... how would you get better if youre constantly telling yourself that youre sick? mind over matter! i longed to tell her. but of course, i cant. why, you ask? because despite my rantings, i feel sorry for her. and i want her to get better. just that i dont know how to tell her that... ang hirap maging nanay!

Monday, May 23, 2005 - 04:00pm

-----------------------------------------

priorities

when you have to go to work and you leave your housemates while they're preparing to drink themselves merrily to oblivion, you get to think about your priorities in life. it used to be that drinking was my first priority(err... maybe not the first, but really, really close). not anymore. money is. (hay. when did i become so money-oriented?) from one evil to another. well, maybe the former is not that evil..... but anyway, while taking in calls, my heart is so far away (farther than it usually is)... im thinking of the bottles of red horse they'd be drinking and the talks that come with good friends over bottles of beer. walang kapantay, men! o well, ill just have to live with the fact that life isn't how it used to be and that with age comes responsibilities. hehehe. sana totoo ang neverland ano? so i'd stay young forever (though i still look young because im so "tiny," blast my height!) hay.

Sunday, May 22, 2005 - 02:57pm

---------------------------------

angst among other things

when you're still doing what you've been doing for a year, you'll come to a point that you either take it for granted or you just let things by... some may call it apathy.. i call it call center syndrome.you go to work, you pull up your tools, you go auto in, you hear a beep and you start saying "thank you for calling..." you do this everyday with no variations, that its a wonder callcenter agents are still sane. its a wonder i still am. dont get me wrong. i dont hate what i do. its just that im past the stage where things matter. the only motivation now is money. and in a way, thats not healthy. i still remember how i felt the first day i took in calls.... it was heartrending... for the customer and me. i was trying my best to be understood, he was trying to get his point across. luckily, we were able to solve the problem (but not without much difficulty). thing was, i was happy afterwards. everything was new. a novelty. but now, its just something i HAVE to do... im way past saying that its something i WANT to do. theres the difference and thats sad. dont you agree? i wonder if someone out there also feels the same... kawawa naman kame. buhay call center.... walang buhay. bow. hay.

*****************

so what do i have to do to "sizzle" up my apathetic existence? i once thought of taking up karate o taekwondo, OMG. asa. my bones are too set in their ways for me to try and bend them in ways unimaginable. so, erase that.i thought of taking up masters. hmmmmm..... not a bad idea. just that where would i get the money and the energy? my weary and smoke filled lungs and brain cant think of a short story analysis worthy of a masters student.erase again.i thought of mountainclimbing. errrr..... mountain? meron ba nun dito na malapit? and again, i will need great strength and stamina and of course, a very, very, very healthy pair of lungs.next please! hehehehala sige.... maghahanap na lang ako ng iba.... hay. :)

Thursday, May 19, 2005 - 03:39pm